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10 Funny Jokes to Make Your Day



Another lawyer joke 

A man walks into a bar. Sits down and loudly announces, "All lawyers are scumbags!". Another man at the bar stands up and says "I resent that statement!". The first man then asks "Why, are you a lawyer?". To which the second man says "No, I'm a scumbag!".


A rabbi a priest and a crocodile walk into a bar 

Chuck Norris mother fuckers.....whoooooooooooooo


So I was trying to grab a grape with my fork... 

But it slipped. It seems as though my efforts were... Fruitless.


How to explain non-alcoholic beer? 

It's like eating your sisters pussy, the taste is the same but you know something is not right.


What do lesbian couples do once a month? 

Finger paint.


A man asked his boyfriend to fist him... 

"...deeper," he moaned. His boyfriend went deeper. "..deeper.." his voice tensed as his spinchter tightened around his boyfriend's forearm. "What's this, I feel something up there," his boyfriend said. He reached in and pulled out a watch. "What's a rolex doing up your ass?" The man turned around and started singing, "Happy birthday to you..."


Have you heard about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? 

He's all right now.


I was appalled to learn about Hitler's uprising. 

Anne Frankly, I did Nazi that coming.!!🎺🎺🎺🎺!! 🎺🎺🎺🎺!!!


Two little kids are in a hospital... 

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous." The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!" The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?" The first kid says, "A circumcision." And the second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"


THE ELI 

WUT IS ELIS MIDDLE NAME? THE SO IT IS ELI THE BASEKE